no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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