he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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