well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
