Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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