and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
