69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
