Why are handjobs necessary in class?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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