My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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