Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
