you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
