somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
