I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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