I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
