dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
