that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
