oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
