I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
