My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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