I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
