saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
In America we eat man semen.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Randomize
