you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
