My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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