my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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