Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
