Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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