I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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