sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
