i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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