I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
