We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
