I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The struggles of a small town man whore
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
