i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
