i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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