So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
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