I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
