Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
