that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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