I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
