she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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