I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
