only if we run a train.
done.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
