And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
