4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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