Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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