I've blown a few things in my day
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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