you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
