But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
