There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
