It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
