U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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