I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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